What To Do, What To Do

I’m feeling surprisingly torn about a decision Chieko and I have to make regarding Ray’s daycare situation. When we heard in the fall that our school is opening a daycare on campus we were understandably excited. His current daycare is only a few minutes away from where we work, but gaining an extra 20 minutes in the morning not having to drop him off there would be huge, as would the time we save in the evenings when it’s time to pick him.

In the mean time, we’ve been able to find out virtually nothing about the new daycare facility, i.e. who the teachers are, what the place looks like, their philosophy on childcare. And Ray is comfortable and happy at his current daycare — he loves his teachers and seems to get along with the other kids. We are also happy with his daycare, and have more or less gotten used to the extra time it takes to get him there before work in the morning and to retrieve him afterward.

That said, we had decided we would move him to the school’s daycare in April, with the start of our new term at work. And then Chieko received an email this morning from a friend/colleague who has been involved in setting up the daycare. She told Chieko that there is only one kid currently registered to attend the new daycare  — Ray would make two. Today is the deadline for other employees here to apply for a spot at the new daycare, and I’m hoping the numbers will increase. Otherwise, I’m having second thoughts about moving Ray.

The main reason I’m having second thoughts is that one of the major benefits of Ray’s current situation is that he’s learning how to socialize. Sharing a daycare with only one other kid would obviously hinder that. On the other hand, all of the individual attention he stands to receive isn’t a bad thing either — according to our friend, there will be three teachers at the school daycare. But I just picture Ray being lonely and bored.

So I’m curious what others would do if you were in our situation — uproot the boy for the sake of convenience, or stick with the ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ philosophy.

Sorry no pictures this time around; the way things have been going on this blog recently you’re lucky to get anything at all! Will try to put up a more picture-laden post soon (though they will probably be all of Ray).

Opinions please!


11 thoughts on “What To Do, What To Do

  1. Well, we took a chance when BHS opened up a daycare. When it began, there were only 4 kids, and two teachers. It was marvelous. The teachers really knew Owen, had time to implement strategies that worked for him even as a wee bugger, before we knew he’d be on the autism spectrum. Then, as other kids joined, and they did join, our guy was well known. We loved it there and only left when we couldn’t afford the price of two. Having just one other child is still good socializing. And just think, he probably won’t get sick as often. If you’re comfortable, go for it. I know you’re visiting in Feb. If you want to chat, give a call. We ended up doing a variety of daycare scenarios, because of extenuating circumstances, but they were all positive experiences.

    Good luck,


    1. thanks for the reassuring comments laura…ray not getting sick as much is a powerful argument, though we’ve been lucky of late…a lot of people have echoed your opinion that the number of children isn’t that big a deal, so maybe i was overreacting a bit…

  2. o.k., so IMHO, i would sign him up for the school’s daycare. my reasoning would be that with 3 teachers to 2 children, Ray would have a pretty good chance of NOT being bored at all! imagine all the individual attention, affection & play that could be had! what a great boon for him in his development & you in convenience!
    opinion submitted!
    take care & look forward to seeing you & fam soon!
    beth =0)

  3. less time in daycare = more time with you.. 20 minutes in the morning seems like more than 20 minutes any other time of day, you won’t have to wake him so early or if you continue to wake him early, you won’t be so rushed… 20 minutes in the afternoon/evening gets you all home/fed/to the gym etc a little sooner… but what do i know, i was fortunate, when you all were little, to not need day care. you guys went 2 or 3 mornings a week to preschool when you were older.. just the half day thing.. another option, i can come live with you and take care of him..:)

    1. yeah even though it’s only a few minutes on either side of the day i think it will make a big difference, and of course you are right about everything you say, always…

  4. Ha ha, Barbara. I don’t think having just a few kids is a problem. I do think if he likes where he is, it might be better to leave him. It depends a little on him. Some babies are very flexible, some hate change. Imagine if you were able to discuss this with him, what do you think he would say? It’s great to have options. On-site day care is a wonderful thing–if he’s sick or something happens, you’re right there. If you start having problems with his current day care for whatever reason, you can change. If you are going to change, I would do it after a break, like your trip home. But you probably already thought of that.

    1. the daycare doesn’t open until april, when our new semester begins, so the timing is perfect in terms of being after a break…thanks for your advice

  5. Is there a chance that there will be more kids enrolled from non employees later to increase the number? Kids are pretty adaptable at that age and I think we sometimes angst more than they do. When they do, it is sometimes a reflection of our attitude.

    I would agree with making a change after a break if possible . There will be a novelty to a new place and new people that will stimulate Ray and you will be getting more time to be with him and do other things to compliment his experience.

    Good luck

    1. thanks for the comment jeff, i imagine more kids will enroll as time goes by but i don’t think they will allow children of non-employees…we’ll see how desperate the school is to make its investment worthwhile i guess…as i mentioned in my response to patty’s comment, he will be starting at the new daycare after a break, so their will hopefully be minimal trauma 😉

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